Annoying people! How to deal with them.
Annoying people! How can we deal with them better?
Annoying people…! We’ve all dealt with difficult and annoying people from time to time, but what makes that person ‘difficult’ or annoying? Perhaps someone who won’t shut up? An obtuse boss who only ever seems to put you down, or maybe someone who only ever seems to take, take, take, or won’t listen?
Challenging personalities can be everywhere, we seem to deal with them on a regular basis and sometimes they can grind us down.
Have a little think right now about who may be difficult in your life, whether it’s at home or at work. And what we think might constitute a difficult person may be very different to what someone else thinks. For example, someone who seems to be very selfish and rude may be viewed as entirely normal to another.
But we can introduce certain measures to help us better deal with the more difficult person.
- Find a way to circumnavigate the negative behaviour. Sometimes its best to let the person know about his or her behaviour, as they may not fully understand that they are causing a problem. I remember telling a colleague who permanently swore in front of others, to take better care with their language as it was upsetting some people. That person was mortified that they had upset someone else, as that wasn’t their intention. They were thankful that I had raised it with them. So, the trying or difficult person may not be fully aware of their behaviour.
- Distance yourself a little from them. If someone is really grating on your nerves, get up and move away. There is nothing worse than trying to contain your feelings when someone is pushing all your buttons! Give yourself a little time out.
- Spot the triggers, which create negative emotions. If you get really angry because of a person’s behaviour, wait until you have cooled down before saying something. It’s the same thing if you get upset over someone’s behaviour, take a little time to reflect and let the calmness back in before dealing with them. Remember, it’s better to speak your mind than bottle it all up. I recall a time where another colleague used to click his fingers together, you know that ‘finger snap’ noise made between the forefinger and thumb, only he did it all the time and on both hands. I would often see people shudder when he did it and it eventually came to a point where I thought, I can either just say nothing and continue to let this get on my nerves or I can say something. So I said something. He was ok about it and actually told me that others had told him to cut it out too! I don’t know whether he stopped doing it altogether, but he certainly made an effort to not do it in front of me.
- Understand that we are all programmed differently. When we begin to understand that we are all different and unique human beings we can put things into better perspective. The world would be rather boring if we were all the same. People have different morals, outlooks and ways of dealing with things. We cannot change someone who doesn’t want to change, but what we can do is to change our perspectives. Try not to judge others by your standards.
- Try to disregard the behaviour. Although this may take practice. The office gossip won’t annoy you with their idle chat if you don’t rise to the bait or take part. If someone is a little too caustic towards you, you can just walk away without showing that you are bothered. Even though this may hurt at first, when they don’t get the desired response from you they will soon learn to offload onto someone else.
There are many skills to acquire with regard to dealing with difficult people and as you develop them, you will grow as will your emotional resilience.
Image courtesy of [David Castillo Dominici] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net